Where to begin....
Let's start with the days. As we all know, the days get a little shorter during the winter because the earth is on an axis and all that... What I was not prepared for was, if I choose to have a late lunch, by the time I walk outside again, it's dark! At the height of winter, the sun is gone by 4:30 pm, at the latest. If that's not depressing, I don't know what is. On the bright side (no pun intended), the days start getting longer again in December, but it's a long and grueling climb before we get to spring.
The fall season leading up to winter is beautiful here in the city. The leaves turn brilliant shades of red, orange, and yellow. The crisp air calls for you to put on another layer while the sun still warms your face. Then, right around the beginning of November, after about 5 days of that perfect fall weather, you're suddenly startled awake by the reality that the trees are now completely bare and you realize that wearing even three layers under your hoodie just isn't cutting it anymore. Hopefully, you didn't choose to go on vacation during those 5 days of fall, because you find that you won't be climbing out of that pile of coats, hats, scarves, and gloves for at least 5 more months.
Oh yes, it's finally time to pull out that old winter coat; The most unfeminine, unbecoming, and absolutely necessary piece of clothing that one can own between the months of November and April. This shield of warmth is usually ankle length, filled with a gaggle's worth of down, equipped with a furry hood that you can cinch so tight you can only see out of one eye at a time, and, if you're lucky, fleece-lined pockets for added protection from the cold. But don't think it stops there. Oh no. Before the coat goes on, there are layers and layers of fabric that can't be done without. First, tights under the jeans, because, trust me, your Sevens have got nothing against the 15 degree air with a -2 degree wind chill. I prefer to wear a long-sleeved shirt and a hoodie, in addition to my coat, just to be sure. Then the hat. I have never seen so many hat varieties at one time than I have in this city. Evidently, along with keeping their heads and ears warm, the people here use their hats to make whatever "statement" they usually make with their clothing, but can't because it's covered in a full body feather pillow. Some are trendy, some are practical, some are homemade, but all of them serve one very important purpose: to keep your hair from getting messed up with the constant winter wind. (That and the whole heat-retention thing.) Then finally comes the most important accessory, in my opinion: the scarf. Fleece, wool, whatever you prefer, as long as it covers that one little exposed area around the neck that none of your other seven layers can seem to cover no matter how hard you try. And it's the one spot that somehow leads directly to your core and, if uncovered, will somehow cause your bones to shiver despite all of the above precautions. And last, but certainly not least: the shoes. These are a very important aspect that sometimes goes forgotten about, or at least by me. I've never really had to think much harder about my shoe choice than, "It's raining outside. No flip flops today." It turns out that even your basic tennis shoes aren't going to cut it out here. No, what you need are serious, tread-on-the-bottom, fur-lined, waterproof boots. Or at least that would be ideal in this weather, but let's be realistic. I am in New York City, not Podunk, North Dakota. My solution: UGGs. (I know, Christian, "UGGs are for westies.") If I'm not wearing my UGGs, my feet inevitably are numb from the cold and/or wet by the time I reach my destination. Unfortunately, (like many others here, I presume) if I'm going to work, I then have to change out of the boots and into my work shoes. (I also carry a big bag during the winter.)
Remember, all of this needs to go on every single time you go outside. So, if it takes you a while to get ready, in the winter, you have to tack on at least another 20 minutes just to bundle up. Once I'm finally ready, sometimes I feel like the kid from A Christmas Story. You know, this kid.
Now, I haven't even begun to talk about the snow. It snowed the other day, a lot. I've personally never been in so much snow. Ever. When you're inside and cozy, looking at the pretty white snowflakes gently falling on the bare tree branches creating a mystical and magical winter wonderland, it brings a feeling of seasonal bliss that makes you want to drink hot chocolate and cuddle up with your favorite blanket and a good book. Then, you're forced to go outside and your little snow globe of joy bursts into a big wet mess of plastic and little white balls. If the snow has freshly fallen, be prepared to shuffle your way down the block like the crazy old guy you see in his bathrobe from time to time. There's no going much faster than this unless you want to find yourself with a sore, wet bottom. If you're lucky enough to have had the sidewalks and roads cleared, you can pick up the pace a little, but you still have to watch out for that black ice. Be warned: It is NOT a myth. It is real and it will have you on your ass quicker than you can say, "Vans were a bad choice!" If you make it to the crosswalk unscathed, you may find yourself with a little spring in your step, until, that is, you're stopped dead in your tracks by the 3-foot pile of snow-dirt that the snow plow has generously left. As you make your way over this and onto the street, you may notice that it looks a little slushy. DON'T BE FOOLED! It is very likely that you are about to step into a 4-6 inch deep puddle of slush that will ruin even your best day. Nothing says defeat like a cold, wet sock.
If, after scaling snow moguls and evading camouflaged mini-lakes, you auspiciously make it to the subway, pray that the line is still running. Oh yes, even the subway system is affected by the snow. How can this be when the subway runs underground, you ask? My theory is that a long time ago, a group of time-travelers stuck on this island stupidly detonated a hydrogen bomb thinking that it would get them back home but instead left us with 6 months per year of winter and snowstorms that cause everything, including schools and transportation, to come to a screeching halt. Or maybe they just haven't gotten the hang of this whole winter thing yet. I know I haven't.
